How to Realize Your Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner

by Calvin Kelly

How to realize your sexual fantasies with your partner

We all have sexual fantasies. Some are tame idiosyncrasies while others can be intricately hardcore. Either way, if you want them to play out in real life, you’re likely to need a willing partner. The crucial element in undertaking the realization of these ideas is trust between yourself and your significant other. Especially when they may be stepping out of their comfort zone to make it happen. So how do you broach the subject and what rules should you follow to ensure that you both enjoy the experience?

Before opening the floor to fantasy confession, make sure your relationship is in a healthy state. It’s unlikely that you’ll both have the same fantasies, so at its core you’re dealing with compromise and nothing stunts this process like an unresolved argument. Choose an appropriate place where you can talk freely, and a time where you can both focus on the topic without any lurking interruptions. Begin by asking if there’s anything new they would like to try in the bedroom. Make it about what turns them on.

If they’re unsure, suggest minor experimentation at first. Don’t come flying out of the blocks with heavy bondage gear. Small steps will ensure there’s no shock factor that leads to him or her closing the door on fantasies for good. It’s important to make them believe that you want to fulfill their desires. At the end of the day you’re going to be asking them to play a part in your fantasy and they will be far more willing to participate if they feel you’re paying attention to their needs first. Give before you can take.

Once your partner has made a suggestion that you are both comfortable with, make sure you stick to what was discussed even in the heat of the moment. Obviously if they respond favorably during whatever is it you’ll be doing, then taking it up a notch is an option. But ask them first. Communication while you’re getting down and dirty is vital, it reduces the possibility of detracting, awkward moments. Talking will also pump up the eroticism. Hearing them verbally describe how good it feels and what else they’d like to do will definitely raise the level of intensity.

Once a dialogue has been opened regarding the fulfillment of fantasies and you have willingly entertained your partners ideas, your turn should come around automatically. If not, then it’s time for you to either lay down the law, or move on. In most cases however, they will be keen to reciprocate. As with their fantasy, start slow with yours. Small steps add anticipation to your sexual relationship, whereas if you go straight for your ultimate fantasy, it’ll be tougher to figure out what’s next, never mind the possibility of scaring them off for good.

No matter how intense your fantasies are, if you allow your partner to slowly adapt to them, you’re less likely to encounter hesitation or refusal. Below are a few good starting points for an array of the better known fantasies.

Bondage

Use everyday items like your partners tie or a stocking to secure them to a bed or table. It will feel less like actual bondage and more like you’re just playing around.

Sex toys

Start with a small, lipstick-sized vibrator, and use it externally to begin with. It’s about getting used to something else in the bed.

Exhibitionism

Try your own garden first before you take on a not so hidden public rendezvous. Make sure it’s late afternoon or evening so the light isn’t too harsh.

Domination

Tell your partner that the next time you’re getting frisky, it’s going to be all about them, but that you’re in control. If they flinch at something you’re doing, communicate and take a step back if necessary.

Role Play

Start the discussion over email or text so it’s less embarrassing than having it face to face. Keep the tone light and playful, humorous if possible.

Everyone has an inner deviant in them. Some let in come to the surface freely, while others don’t even know it exists. No matter which category your partner falls into, you can, through subtle suggestion, unselfish actions and clear communication, enjoy the realization of your fantasies. Start with opening the dialogue, take small steps, be aware of your partners physical and emotional responses and respect the boundaries you’ve both agreed upon. In this way, you can go further than you previously imagined and have incredible amounts of fun along the way