Romantic Depot Sexologist Bringing toys into your boudoir is a fun and exciting way to spice up your love life. However, some men are apprehensive about using toys, and a few may downright refuse. Why is this? And how can you help your man get past this?
Why Men are Afraid of Toys
Usually, the reason is a simple and unsurprising one: they make him feel inadequate.
Many men think that the reason you want to introduce toys to your bedroom is because he alone is not enough to satisfy you. Although this is likely not the case, it will nonetheless bruise his ego.
There are a few things you can try if your man seems less-than-enthusiastic about trying something new.
Start Slow
Don’t be too insistent that he try using toys. If you suggest them and he says no, don’t ask again for a few days or weeks. Trying to force toys into your relationship will only further his feelings that he isn’t satisfying you.
Make It Something Special for Him
Give him his own private peep show. Tell him he is only allowed to watch while you play with your new toy. Don’t let him join in until he can no longer stand it!
Try this for a birthday or anniversary present, or even as a “just because.” Hopefully, this will turn him on and help to change his attitude about toys!
Focus on Him
Don’t concentrate too much on they toys. Use them for foreplay and to get things heated up, but toss them aside after a short while. Making him the main focus will help ease any feelings of inadequacy.
Size Matters
Since his apprehension is likely fueled by feeling that he is not man enough, make sure you don’t choose a toy that reinforces these feelings. Look for a toy that is smaller than he is. Knowing that his size isn’t in question will make him feel better about the situation.
When All Else Fails…
You may find that no matter your approach, you man is still not comfortable with the idea of bringing toys into the bedroom. If this is the case for you, you may have to take no for an answer.
Rather than potentially destroying the relationship, try something else to spice things up in the bedroom, like new positions or techniques. Keep your toys tucked away for those times when he is out of town or otherwise not around, and settle for using them solo.
Be patient, be thoughtful, and don’t be too pushy. Hopefully, these tips will help to ease your man’s anxiety about bringing toys into your love life!